I wonder if I really do not understand people at all, women especially. All along I've thought that based on what we've had before, it would be the most sensible thing to let some time pass, before attempting to contact them again, just so there might be that little chance of regaining the friendship I thought we deserved.
Of course, I was careful to not thread upon unchartered territory, thus I never ventured beyond emails as the first form of communication. Despite that, my 'hey-how-have-you-been's gone unreplied, seasonal greetings a one-way traffic and birthday wishes ignored. And most probably, the one who's gone far away, would feel it pointless to keep me posted on her life at a place that is beyond an SBS bus' reach. Its not so bad now though, cos I've become accustomed to not getting the replies, while I kid myself that sending occasional greetings is just being thoughtful.
I knew enough to leave out all the "me"s and "I"s even, heh.
Whoever said being friends was a simple affair? I feel like an asshole whenever my sent emails never got a reply. It's funny, isn't it? That all 3 of them respond the same way. Clearly the problem lies with me.
Happy Valenfuckingtine's Day in advance.
I'm blogging too much. Will take a break.
This year's CNY has been treating me well. I've had plenty of fun with Kiatz and Elaine and many "missing links" like Ross, Russ, Weili, Jules, and the list goes on.
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to doWhy the hell am I making this harder than it's supposed to be, omg.
Saturday, 9 February 2008
Alone in this house again tonight
I've got the TV on
The sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could've been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walking away.
'Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self-control
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride let it fall like rain from my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on?
"All By Myself"
Would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
I'll never get over you by hiding this way.
Goodbye, M.L., and I pray we do not lose whatever's left of the friendship as well.
Chinese New Year's round the corner, thus it will be the perfect
excuse opportunity to leave all the bad behind, carry on the good into the new year, and most importantly, HUAT AH!
I need to stop losing at the mahjong table. Cliche, but I need more luck.
(CNY's so mundane, so boring, and I feel like a cheapslut cos all I'm gonna do is put on my brightest smile, give a nice firm handshake, and pocket the red packets. $1000 target this year, c'mon!)
